Nobody's Fault
by Chaser-Cya
Summary: Don't know how to quite summerize it. ~ Twincest ~ should do for now


Title: Nobody's fault  
  
Author: Chaser Disclaimer: Harry Potter, all its characters and so forth are owned by JKR. Pairing: Twincest, Twin x Oliver Warnings: Vague Notes: I never said I knew what I was doing.  
  
  
  
There he went again, he pushed past me as if I wasn't there. Verbally I cursed him yet mentally I cursed myself. All I wanted was to grab him and make him mine but all I could do was stand there and curse.  
  
No one would understand why I feel this way. I don't understand it most of the time. I refuse to share this part of me with anyone, not even my twin brother. We share everything but this. I gather it is all his fault why I feel this way.  
  
I close my eyes as I think about it.  
  
It had been in our fifth year where we had discovered the joys of sex. It wasn't as if it wasn't going around like a swarm of locus. We had just never paid it any mind. We were for to occupied with other things. Yet once we discovered the extreme joy of the act, we were like rabbits in heat.  
  
Any girl we could get, we took. I should rephrase that; any girl who we thought was attractive enough and didn't have loose lips we took. It began simply enough then it progressed to more entertaining matters. Soon we began having multiple partners and some times, to save on time and space, which was limited, we began making our escapes a joint effort. In our minds why share stories when we can be apart of the adventures.  
  
Little by little watching each other engaged in intimate actions was nothing beyond the normal.  
  
We began partaking in each other after one afternoon. We had been goofing off in the halls as usual. Stirring up a little fun when my brother was told by a pointy faced snake. That he was ugly and would rather die than bed him.  
  
Being that insults were nothing new, I retaliated with, " Don't worry, he don't need you. I'll take him, he's cute." I thought it was rather amusing being that we are identical.  
  
Later that very evening I was asked in the confines of his bed, if I was joking? Naturally I said no, not quite understand that he was serious. Everything in life up to that point had always been a joke. I can honestly say I can not quite remember ever having a serious conversation with him. I didn't think we would start now.  
  
That was not only the first time he was completely serious with me but it was also the first time he snapped at me. I have never admitted to being the smart one nor will I start now. Yet being told that your other half wants to be left alone makes a boy wonder.  
  
Until most it didn't take him long to become indignant and begin to avoid my presents. Which is rather a remarkable feat considering we live in the same dorm, sleep in the same room and in sync with the others actions.  
  
However I do think now that I had much to do with my new found loneliness. Now I know I shouldn't have harassed him as I did. I know now that I should have taken him a tab bit more serious than I did.  
  
Never being one to tolerate being ignored, I cornered him on evening in the locker room after a rather unpleasant practice session in the rain.  
  
" What is wrong with you?" I asked him several times with no response. Never had I seen my brother roll his eyes at me while attempting to push me away. Key word there would be trying. I may not have been the smartest but I was by far the larger one. It may not be much but I take what can get.  
  
"What is wrong with you? Why are you acting all pissy with me?"  
  
" It's nothing that you would be concerned with." He responded very dryly.  
  
"Try me. "  
  
" I said it was nothing now let me go."  
  
" NO not until you tell me what s eating at you. I have a right to know and I want to know damn it."  
  
" Really? "  
  
" No of course really. Now if it's wouldn't be too much for you would you mind telling me what in the world is wrong with you."  
  
I always knew my mouth would get me in trouble. I had to be extremely nosey and want to know what was wrong with him. I couldn't just let him be until he felt better. In all honesty I could have but then again that wouldn't have been me. It would have been one of those pea pod people Dean is always talking about.  
  
Much to my surprise what was wrong with him was he felt as if I was making fun of him. Oddly enough that is usually what I am doing yet couldn't understand why this time was such a big deal. That is until, until I asked him why and he bluntly told me that he has been having thoughts about the same sex.  
  
At first I thought he was pulling my leg but that wasn't the case. My brother informed me that he wanted to venture into unspoken territory yet was slightly afraid of exploring those waters with someone else.  
  
Do you see why this is all his fault? You do understand why I blame this all on him? If not, I'll let you in on some more.  
  
Ok where was I? Oh yeah, the locker room. So after he explained it all to me, I kind of felt a bit bad. Only a bit though. So being the brother that I am I volunteered to help him. Yes, I did it willingly. It didn't seem like such a bad idea at the time. We had done stranger things in the past together. We have seen each other naked all of our lives. We have watched the other engaged in what should be private and personal occasions. This should be no different or at least I thought it shouldn't.  
  
This is where things went bad for me. You see, indeed we tried it. We engaged in acts that most brothers would never think about. Awkward and uncomfortable as it was I did it with a smile. I did it to see my brother happy again. It was never my intention to like it. It was never my intention find what I think is a better pleasure source from it. Nothing was supposed to come out of this but curiosity but that wasn't the case.  
  
My brother after the fact stated that since we have now tried it and his curiosity satisfied. He didn't like it. It wasn't for him he told me. It wasn't as enjoyable and satisfying as he thought it would be.  
  
For quite a while that did bother me. I know damn well I'm satisfying but to hear that you weren't any good does hit the ego a bit hard. I didn't like the idea that I wasn't any good. Indignant and wounded I asked him if we could try once more to make sure. At first he refused me but after a little bit of persuasion he gave in to me.  
  
However before I could prove myself to be satisfying I would need a second opinion of sorts. The only problem was, whom was I going to get to be my practice dummy of sorts. Yet luck was on my side. I found a practice dummy rather quickly.  
  
I was never the secret keeper and for good reason. Instead of looking and finding the right subject. I went for the direct approach. I knew only boy who was an established and well know, if you know how to listen, homosexual.  
  
Balthasar was a sixth year and happily pointed me in the right direction. Why not him, he was supposedly involved with someone but I'm not suppose to tell anyone it was Cedric.  
  
Approaching my victim was a bit harder. I tried to find the right way to say," hey I need some practice, wanna have sex." It told me three days to figure out how to say it. Figuring the direct approach was the best, I waited until everyone was asleep and crept into the seventh year's dormitory.  
  
Sneaking around the room was a piece of cake. I learned all the ins and out's years ago. I knew exactly where I was going. Climbing into his bed, I straddled him like a horse and pinched his nose. How else was I suppose to wake him?  
  
"Who?! What?! Get offa me!"  
  
"SHHHH!"  
  
" Go away, I'm not in the mood for games."  
  
"No, I wanna ask you something."  
  
"They're under the bed in a box, good night."  
  
" I don't want those and beside we used those a while ago you need to stock up."  
  
" What is it then, I'm tired."  
  
" Well it's like this, you like boys and I want to be good at being with boys so wake up and teach me a thing or two." I never said I was subtle.  
  
I never will understand why I have to explain myself two and three times to people. However I did exactly four times. I didn't particularly care if I had to explain it a hundred times as long as I got what I wanted. I was not going to label as a *bad* lay especially not to my twin brother.  
  
Oliver finally gave in and well taught me a few things. In turn I went back and turned every trick I had been taught. Yet it didn't change anything. Nothing changed. I went through the motions of becoming good to my standard and he still said it wasn't what he liked.  
  
By then it was well beyond a wounded ego. My pride was shot to hell and it didn't seem to be coming back anytime soon. The bad part was unlike my brother, our second session established the fact that I more than liked it. I couldn't quite understand how I enjoyed what he wanted in the first place and he wants nothing to do with it now. I didn't understand how we did everything together and like the same things, except with it comes to ice cream and hair color.  
  
Being that I just couldn't let the fact go that My brother didn't enjoy himself. I made it a point to become better at it. Even if he said we would never do that or mention it again, I had a point to prove to myself.  
  
Hence why I now have gotten around quite a bit, trying to learn all I can or at least that is what I will keep telling myself. That is why when he passes me in the halls now, it's like we just related not twin brothers. He is now too occupied with his new girlfriend and spends his free time doing whatever she likes.  
  
He doesn't spend much time with me anymore and for that I curse him. He doesn't let me crawl into his bed anymore when it rains and for that I curse him. He treats me like I'm Percy most of the time now and for that I curse him But most of all I curse him because I love him and it's all his fault. 


End file.
